Cop Care

International Justice Mission

2007-03-13T16:36:00.000-06:00

Can justice, mercy and love co-exist within our personal makeup so that we may be an instrument of change in the world? As a blog for cops from a cop I say yes. Criminal and oppressive activity needs to be investigated and stopped through the pursuit of truth, the gathering of evidence and the rescue of the weak. Ultimately this is an act of love for goodness, freedom, and humankind. Justice as an act of ultimate love..... more to come soon. Check out www.IJM.org

A Cry for Justice

· A five year old girl sold into the sex slave industry!
· Corrupt police and politicians allowing it!
· Wrongful imprisonment of people trying to make a difference!
· Bonded slave labor!
· Rape, murder and political cover up!

This takes place every day, all around the world

Do you think Canadians are powerless to do anything about it?

Think Again.

Isaiah 1:17

“Learn to Do Good
Seek Justice
Help the oppressed
Defend the cause of orphans
Fight for the rights of widows”

“ The oppressed will be set free “ Jesus (Luke4:18)

Please Come and find out what You can do

International Justice Mission Canada

April 14 2007 – 9:00 am
Community of Hope Church
3935 – 114 St. Edmonton Alberta

RSVP: bobstenhouse@shaw.ca – (780) 437-9580

So Much More Than Us.

2007-02-15T20:26:00.000-07:00

I have a tendency to get caught up in the injustices of life and forget to take the time to enjoy the beauty and peace that is all around us. I have not blogged in so long, and my friend Stew asked me today why not? I don't know. Not inspired? Wondering why I bother to blog at all?

Then Stew pointed out to me the amazing way that God can work in us and through us. A former RCMP officer had come across my blog and through that found the link to my church. This retired member is what is known as a seeker. Someone searching for God and truth in the muck and mire of life. A former hardened heart like most of us in policing questioning if there is not more out there than what we know?

Being a spiritual seeker is an exciting thing. When we continue to seek answers and follow them through to their logical conclusions we cannot help but come to the understanding that there is a God, yet also come to the realization that something has gone horribly wrong with his creation. You cannot be a cop and exclude the very real presence of evil. Cops deal with it every day, in their interactions with others, and in the struggle of their own hearts as they try their best to execute their duties with honor and truth.

I have recently begun some dialogue with a journalist who's job it is to report on police wrongdoing. He is frustrated, the police are frustrated, and the public doesn't know who to side with. It is sad that it is something that requires sides in the first place. I am not sure where the conversation is going to go but I do know that the answers are not something that can be espoused in one random editorial.

Perhaps we all need to take the time to slow down and consider that there is something going on that is so much bigger than us all. Polarizing takes place when there is an absence of empathy for the predicament of others. I have friends who are journalists and I have friends who are cops. On both sides there is a desire to bring about justice and truth. Perhaps the problem lies in the subjective measuring stick of what those terms mean.

Mistakes

2006-12-13T14:31:00.000-07:00

I remember as a rookie cop in Cranbrook B.C. the first time that I had a member of the public complain about my conduct. Admittedly, I had made a mistake, and I could have denied it. It was their word against mine. I spoke with a wise, if not somewhat cynical, old cop who told me that a cop who is not having someone complain about them is a cop who is not doing their job. I also recognized the personal power that came from admitting mistakes and errors in judgment. I admitted my mistake and found that the only consequence that came was in the positive form of learning from that mistake.

Years later, my son had almost electrocuted himself by laying a stainless steel chain across the prongs of a lamp plug and then plugging it in. When I asked him about it he began to fudge the truth, making it look accidental as opposed to intentional. I had a great opportunity to teach a valuable lesson that, hopefully, will stay with him for his lifetime.

"We all make mistakes" I told him, but when we cover up those mistakes we are entering in to a whole different area of deceit and character flaws that, if left unchecked, can become a way of life.

My son, just months earlier, had been present when my error in judgment was admitted at my RCMP internal disciplinary hearing. I admitted that my decision to give media strategy documents concerning outlaw motorcycle gangs to an author was a mistake. What I could not say though, was that my motives behind this decision were false or personally motivated. My motives were valid, serious and highly concerning to the public good and safety. What I did with my concern was the error in judgment.

I remember the day that I admitted my mistake as if it was yesterday. Police officers were speculating that another cop had leaked these otherwise benign documents. My mistake was bringing about speculation and judgment, and could have cost taxpayers money and cops time as they investigated other persons for the leak.

It did not take me long to remember a short chapter on mistakes that I had read in Steven Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I knew what I had to do. It was one of the most influential and empowering decisions I had ever made in my life. I entered the office of the Commanding Officer and told him what I had done. The resulting consequences- later fuelled by anger and inappropriate political influence- by the opinion of many, would suggest that my coming forward was a mistake. I know in my heart that this is not the case. It was a life changing moment.

From an internal perspective I can say that the wisdom found in this portion of Covey's book is, indeed, timeless wisdom. When we admit our mistakes and fallibilities we become empowered. I thought I would quote the section that spoke to me so clearly during that crucial time in my life.

" the proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it. But not to acknowledge a mistake, not to correct it and learn from it, is a mistake of a different order. It usually puts a person on a self-deceiving, self-justifying path, often involving rationalization to self and others. This second mistake , this cover-up, empowers the first, giving it disproportionated importance, and causes far deeper injury to self.

"It is important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment and we are empowered again."

Stephen Covey

I am so thankful that I had read that and that it had sunk deep into my heart. As tempting as it may be, cover up, deceit, justifying, blaming, or denying ones culpability is soul destroying. I had experienced both choices over the course of my life and can attest to the freedom that comes from an honest confession of our mistakes and weaknesses.

The truth, indeed, sets us free. It is the presumed subjectivity of what constitutes truth, however, where we often stumble.

Those who fight monsters...

2006-12-12T14:24:00.000-07:00

" He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes upon you."

Nietsche

Several years ago this Nietsche quote was hung on my wall to remind me, as a cop, of my own capacity to engage in the actions and behaviours of those that I was investigating. This was particularly true in the world of undercover, where one has to be grounded when working in grey areas. Temptations, frustrations, ego, all conspiring together to bring good people to a place of darkness and despair. I truly believe that when we can come to the understanding of our own capacity for evil, while we may choose good, then we can come to a place of empathy and compassion for others. We want to deny the places in our hearts that are less than noble, our self centeredness, pride and arrogance and sense of entitlement: " I deserve....."

In denial, however, we can never come to a place of healing. about seven years ago I sent laminated copies of this quote to several undercover officers who were friends. They appreciated the reminder that when spending alot of time in the dragon's lair, how easily one can come to enjoy the surroundings and lose sight of who they truly are.

"What's so Amazing About Grace?"

2006-12-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

It blows me away how the power of grace attracts interest. On Wednesday, prior to the resignation of Commissioner Zaccardelli, I wrote the previous blog with an honest heart. Averaging approximately 50 hits a day on this blog, in one day there was over 1000 as a result of a small article in the Edmonton Sun, and mention in a popular blog called "small dead animals". The apparent interest, by many folks, had to do with the issue of grace.

I often read blogs, web pages and opinion articles on political issues. What saddens me though is the aggressive and contemptuous language that is used to voice ones opinion about another persons behaviour.

Certainly there are times when we are called to be righteously indignant about wrongdoing. But who's righteousness are we tapping in to? In most cases it is our own, yet we feel that it is appropriate and proper to belittle, cajole, and villify the behaviour of others that we find wrong based on, in many instances, our own standard of right and wrong.

I've asked this question often, " why do we get so angry and upset because someone else's sin is different than our own?"

I used that word sin with my journalist friend the other day and she didn't much care for the word. She did not deny the existence of the dark side of humanity that lurks in us all, she just didn't like the word.

Okay, so why do we get so angry because someone else's dark side is manifested differently than our own? As I said in my previous blog, Mr. Zaccardelli will be experiencing the consequences of his own actions. But grace, when one has received it and experienced it to the extent that I have, gives me, not only the ability to extend it, but compels me to take the step and do so. That is "What's so amazing about grace" (an excellent book by Phillip Yancey)

I believe, we can only begin to understand what it means to receive God's grace, when we can come to terms with our own dark side, misdeeds, behaviours, vengeful anger, contempt, rage, jealousies, lusts, foolishness, deceit... and so on, turn from that nature, and choose to accept, by faith, God's free gift of atonement, found in Jesus Christ.

When we experience this freeing grace, then we can extend it. I can't extend grace to my enemies on my own strength. I can only do so when I have first experienced it.

Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound.

May God's grace prevail, may he have mercy on us all, including Mr. Zaccardelli.

Casting Stones

2006-12-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

I woke this morning to an e-mail from Globe and Mail journalist Brent Jang letting me know that an article that he had written about my role as a private investigator in the Westjet - Air Canada feud was in print today. He also let me know that there was an extensive article on the Commissioner of the RCMP and his conflicting testimonies before the Parliamentary public safety and security committee.

When I bought the paper I was struck by the irony of my photograph being on the front page with the Commissioner. For those who know my public story with the RCMP, it would be safe to say that Commissioner Zaccardelli was highly influential in my forced resignation from the RCMP in 2002. So influential, that the Federal Court of Canada criticized his innapropriate involvement in my case as the Commissioner and overturned the decision, re-instating me to the RCMP.

When speaking with a friend from the media this morning, I was asked my thoughts on what is happening within the RCMP and in particular with the scrutiny that Mr. Zaccardelli is facing at the moment.

I have been honest about my own shortcomings on this blog, with nothing to hide or be ashamed of on my own journey. So, in all honesty I wanted to say, "what goes around comes around." Yet, I had to reflect at how cheap and vindictive this attitude is and could be if I were to allow it to fester into vengeful bitterness.

Taking the time to reflect, and yes, pray about this situation I am able to come to a place of empathy for the Commissioner. It is evident that indeed he seems to have been caught in the embarassing position of giving contradictory evidence before the committee. Facing increasing demands for his resignation, and a distancing of allegiance from the Prime Minister, it would seem that his fate is sealed.

But, what to do with how one feels about this? Examining the heart, mind and soul of the human condition, including my own, I am struck by how gleeful we can become when another person is held to account for their perhaps, less than noble actions, particularly if they have hurt us personally. Was Mr. Zaccardelli's actions all that different from the modus operandi of many public figures, business leaders, or anyone else for that matter?

Deceit, by way of omission or commission, is more common than most of us are even aware. Why do we become so indignant at the deception of others when we cannot see the deception that may be lurking in our own lives? I wonder if the indignancy of many of the more vocal MP's towards the Commissioner, comes more from a place of political point scoring than it does from a deep moral sense of right and wrong?

" Where do moral absolutes come from?" I asked my humanist friend this morning. " That's a good question" she replied. If moral absolutes do not come from God, then we are left with an individualistic understanding of right and wrong ( in other words we become our own gods) or we are at the mercy of the whims of the masses ( shaped by the more powerful, and possibly corrupt leaders of society.) Either way, moral right and wrong becomes fuzzy and subjective, and we justify, hide, deflect, bully, or use euphemisms to describe our behaviour.

I am all for experiencing the life giving grace of the consequences of our own actions. Painful as these consequences may be, they are often the springboard to new life and purpose if one slows down long enough to examine their own behaviour and wrestle with the nagging question of why we do what we do. Consequences can take place, however, without condemnation and villification.

Mr. Zaccardelli will be experiencing the consequences of his apparent misleadings to the committee. The instructions of my own moral compass, however, tells me that I cannot be happy about this. Rather I am called to have empathy and to pray for him. I much prefer this Way than the easier path that comes from the inclinations of my own dark side to condemn and take pleasure in his situation.

We all deserve empathy when coming face to face with the natural consequences of our behaviours. We all need to reflect that perhaps, if faced with the same pressures, circumstances, and life situation, that our own actions may not be that far off from those that we would be tempted to condemn. I prefer not to cast stones. In fact, if I were to be truthful, I can't.

The Complexities of Justice

2006-11-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

I have purposefully avoided wading in to the public debate over a Crown prosecutor's recommendation that charges not be laid against an Edmonton Police officer who was captured on film striking a handcuffed young woman during the Stanley Cup celebrations on Whyte Avenue.

The public outrage in the letters to the editor seem to outweigh the ones that are supportive of this recommendation. This debate is not pro or anti - police rhetoric, it is much more complicated than whether one supports their local police officers or not.

My reluctance to make comment, if I were to be truthful with myself, comes from not wishing to offend a police officer who may read my musings. I recognize however that if I am to encourage boldness in the pursuit of truth, that I must take the risk of offending.

I was present on Whyte Avenue the night that this event occurred. I was also witness to a young man losing consciousness after being 'clotheslined' by a young police officer while trying to cross the street. I did not see the actual take down but several witnesses did. I saw the frightening aftermath only seconds later as the man lay lifeless on the pavement and the police officers present seemed at a loss at what to do. In my opinion, based on my own experience as a cop, the take down was excessive force. In my view, regardless of the previous riotous behavior of the crowds, each circumstance must be evaluated, yes sometimes in a split second, and appropriate force used to effect the corrective action.

This brings me to the situation with the young lady whose photographed assault has made the national news. Yes, it needs to be called what it was, it was an assault. The question becomes not what it was but rather was it justified.

As a police officer I have been spit at, kicked, punched, attacked, shot at, and verbally assaulted with every name in the known lexicon of profanity, even some unknown. I had times when I controlled my temper in these tirades and I have had times when I inappropriately lost my temper. Every honest police officer would tell you the same thing. Yes, policing is an often times thankless and dangerous job with few fringe benefits. But, and here is the rub, in many ways it is more than a job, it is a calling. With this call comes tremendous power which by necessity requires tremendous responsibility.

A picture does speak a thousand words, but the words it spoke to me was not just a cop who, perhaps, abused his authority. Rather what it spoke to me was that in the midst of hyper-vigilism and antagonism, hatred encouraged hatred, abuse encouraged abuse, fear encouraged fear.

I believe that the Crown prosecutor overstepped his boundaries in his recommendation. This is much too high profile a case to dismiss based on the "reasonable likelihood of conviction." The proper process must weigh the evidence and come to an appropriate conclusion based on that evidence.

I do not personally condemn the police officer nor the young lady. Every one of us, regardless of profession, social status, religious beliefs, or lifestyles has the capacity to engage in violent actions, in a given set of circumstances. We sometimes only come to terms with that truth by experiencing the consequence of those actions.

I have been in the place of that young officer. The only difference was that my actions taken against a handcuffed ( which is generally an indication of a lesser physical risk) person, was not caught on camera. Again, the honest cop would tell you, we have all used excessive force on occasion that was fuelled more by temper and fear than by necessity to effect an arrest.

The process should take its course, in spite of the recommendations made by the Crown, and may both the police and the young woman learn and grow from the experience. That is justice, not punishment or vengeance. And there is a difference. Justice is designed to serve the public good, including the offending party. Justice must also be seen to be done, and for the overall good of the officer, the police force, the public and Kristen Wilson, the evidence needs to be heard.

Another Wounded Cop - Step Eight

2006-10-31T14:33:00.000-07:00

If you are a new reader of this blog you may discover that threaded through my musings on the care of cops and their culture is a "twelve step" program for corporate reformation. Borrowing from the twelve step programs used for addictions and other chronic dysfunction, I've suggested a corporate application.

I have borrowed from my experiences with the RCMP, also recognizing that the culture and institutions of all police services are very similar. I meet with and hear from frustrated police officers and the frustrations all have a similar thread: lack of accountability and transparency in senior management, abuses of power, 'good ol' boys' mentality, deceitful decisions, and blind ambitions.

I will now be looking at Step Eight of the Twelve Steps. I encourage the reader to scroll down this blog to read the previous steps for it to make better sense.

The Twelve Steps - Step Eight

Original Wording ( A.A.): Made a list of all the people we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Corporate Wording: We initiate an Employee Reconciliation Program designed to investigate the corporate responsibility as it relates to police officer burnout, alcoholism, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, excessive discipline, harassment, bullying, medical discharges and contemptuous correspondance. We are prepared to make amends to those who have been harmed by the institutional wrongdoing.

Commentary:

I just received word today that a man I once worked with had died in his sleep and had likely not been found for a week. For privacy purposes I will call him Jim. I first met Jim in the mid 1980's when he was heavily involved in undercover work. He was very rough around the edges, yet when you came to know Jim you sensed a caring spirit and wounded heart. Jim's refuge from a harsh and compromising world was alcohol. Everyone knew Jim had a problem but it seemed that it was never addressed.

Undercover work, while highly exciting ( and necessary in policing) , is an environment where alcohol flows freely, deceit is a way of life, family is secondary, and personal demons are suppressed and ignored. Jim was one of the best at the game, and its negative influences took its toll on him and his family.

I remember working with Jim in the late eighties where I was asked to keep an eye on his alcohol consumption while leading him in an undercover operation. I had told my supervisor that this was not my role and that if the RCMP acknowledged a problem then I felt it was up to the management to deal with the problem as opposed to burdening me, a subordinate, with the issue.

As with many successful undercover operators, Jim, sadly, was used and abused, in spite of the knowledge by superior officers that the environment of undercover was conducive to exacerbating his struggle with alcoholism.

This is a somewhat complex issue when it comes to understanding responsibility. But the questions need to be asked, is there not a corporate responsibility when it comes to the emotional and mental health of the employee, the police officer? Jim certainly had free will to refuse another undercover job, but I also feel strongly that many people turned a blind eye to his problem as long as he was getting the desired result in his undercover work.

The sad part of this story is that it is the story of many police officers. Alcoholism is rarely addressed and only spoken of in awkward and sometimes condemning conversations. Instead of being addressed with courage, compassion, and understanding, it was often swept aside with a "nudge nudge, wink wink" mentality which only caused further hurt and damage.

I don't know how I would have responded when I was in my undercover heyday ( or should I say "haze" day) if someone would have shown legitimate concern for my lifestyle choices. I would likely have got angry, but at least I would have known that someone cared enough to speak truth into my life.

Many police officers have been damaged and hurt deeply by the institution. Many have been used and discarded, abused and ridiculed, scapegoated and forgotten. These wounds penetrate deeply.

I hadn't spoken with Jim in years, but often thought of him as I heard about his attempts at recovery. He is one who deserved an apology from the institution he served to the best of his abilities. He caught alot of bad guys, but has become another statistic of an institution that tends to eat their own.

Perhaps he should be remembered with similar ceremony by the RCMP as those who died while on the job. Because in many ways, so did Jim.

The Journey

2006-10-25T13:06:00.000-06:00

I work and meet with people at varying stages and circumstances of life who are either asking the question or have asked the question,
" what is it all about?" I have found this to be true, even in those who don't acknowledge that in their pursuit of success, power, material possessions, sex, and many other pursuits ( even the perfect golf game), they are still asking the "big" question, "What is my purpose?"

Our purpose or dreams, as we understand them within the framework of a lifetime or eternity, often have a way of changing midstream. Hearts soften, illusions are exposed, success is re-defined, wrongdoings catch up to us, priorities change. This is the journey of life. And in this journey, there is always going to be change. A humble and broken heart becomes teachable, pride is shattered and paradigms are radically altered.

Many of us have found ourselves cruising along the freeway of life, admired and seemingly trouble free, when crisis hits like a freight train and everything we believed in and stood for is found to be distorted somewhere among the wreckage that may be our life.

While we may not see it in the chaos of our brokenness, an examined life looks back in hindsight at many of our adversities and personal traumas and can come to some form of understanding as to why certain events needed to take place to get our attention.

The journey of life becomes a rhythm of seasons, seasons of new life, a maturing essence, a grateful harvest, and inevitably, a time of age and death.

The journey often begins when we examine the paradigms we held which preceded the chaos and confusion we may have found ourselves in. The journey begins when we submit to the reality that perhaps our paradigms were based on the ever shifting sands of subjective truth and of our own, perhaps blinded, understanding of right and wrong.

What a journey it can be if we choose to begin!

Mad-itude or Attitude?

2006-10-16T19:26:00.000-06:00

It is in the ability to open our eyes and minds where limitless wonders are discovered.

One of the most tragic effects of years of policing is the bitterness and anger that envelope the souls of those who were at one time positive and idealistic about their ability to make a difference in this world. I spoke with a retired police officer the other day who's anger towards the institutions that he had served was clearly evident in his words. I think, though, that the anger was much more about the hurt that comes from feeling the betrayal of the "family" of police officers, and not knowing what to do with that hurt.

The need for vindication ( and I know personally of what I speak) can sometimes blind us to the opportunities for personal growth and change that can come from recognizing the illusion of corporate pride that is ingrained in the minds of the youngest recruits. Make no mistake, an idealistic view of the profession of policing is a dangerous one. Corruption exists, envy, pride, lust for power, blind ambition, apathy, and conspiracies of silence and oppression, exist within all ranks of policing. But, it still hurts and that pain is very real. Unfortunately many police officers do not know what to do with that pain and the festering tentacles of bitterness take root.

Opening ones mind and heart to the timeless wisdom that is available to those who are seeking answers is like inhaling the fresh and clean air of a dewy spring morning. From tragedy often comes triumph. The light comes on, we see with new lenses, and the betrayal that has hurt us so deeply in our profession becomes as meaningless as a spurned adolescent kiss. It hurts at the time, but becomes almost laughable when viewed through a lens of maturity and wisdom.

I encourage frustrated and bitter police officers and ex-police officers to resist anger and bitterness with all their heart and soul and mind. Seek new answers, ask tough questions about life, and open yourself up to opportunities of wisdom and truth, laughter and love, peace and courage.

What's Under the Uniform?

2006-09-27T10:14:00.000-06:00

In the past several days there have been three events take place that have caused me to reflect on the crucial role that character plays in policing. More than ever, the public is demanding accountability, transparency and a critical evaluation of its policing services.

Yesterday, I attended a court case providing emotional support for a friend who was in turn supporting a loved one who was facing charges related to an arrest. I sat watching the young police officer and was struck by his honesty and apparent desire to speak the truth. Yet, as he was being thoroughly cross examined, I detected a subtle hint of defensiveness as he realized that he had made some mistakes in the arrest. His defensiveness transferred into evasiveness which had the effect of reducing his credibility somewhat. I knew what he was going through as I recall the numerous court cases that I was involved in where I chose evasiveness in the areas where I had made mistakes. How refreshing it would have been for me back then to admit to my errors and let the chips fall where they may so to speak. The young officer's credibility, while not necessarily diminished, would have been significantly raised had he faced his understandable fallibilities and conceded the points raised by the defence lawyer.

The second event that has taken place has been the apparent lack of response of the Commissioner of the RCMP to demands for accountability and answers respecting several high profile situations that have surfaced in the news. Like the young constable who was being evasive in the face of procedural criticisms, it would appear that the same could be said of the Commissioner and senior management in not only the RCMP, but many other police institutions. Evasiveness reduces credibility and I would venture to say that the Commissioner, at this time, is suffering from a credibility crisis with the public he serves and the men and women he leads.

The third event was a phone conversation I had this morning with an RCMP member who has committed his efforts in his profession to standing up for the rank and file membership. His frustration with the leadership of the institution, that he has toiled mightily for, was visceral. It is difficult for a thinking member of a police force to buy into words like integrity and truth and honor, service and transparency when in the words of many police officers there would appear to be a "double standard."

Issues of character in the profession of policing do not have a double standard. They only appear so when the words used to define the character espoused are without a foundational understanding of what these same words truly mean. Accountability has always been a two way street, and ones character will always come to the surface when one is being asked to be accountable for their decisions, actions and failures.

The character of the men and women beneath the uniform, regardless of rank, will reveal itself when they are faced with the inevitable necessity of answering the tough questions about their own decisions. The uniform, rank, or position only reflects the exterior of the person who wears it, often masking the character that lies beneath. It is what is inside that will mark the person for who he or she really is. And this inevitably outs itself in times where accountability is demanded, or to put it more bluntly, when the heat is on.

Character is refined by failure and struggle. A noble character bears the mantle of humility, and humility comes when one can admit weakness and mistakes and the need for personal change. It would seem that the power corridors of Ottawa are not necessarily the safest place to admit weakness, errors, mistakes, and character flaws, yet this process must begin with the individual as he or she looks in the mirror in the morning and chooses to take off the uniform of pride, conceit, arrogance, fear, cover - up and contempt for others.

The refining and development of noble character requires a paradigm shift of radical proportions as one contemplates issues such as the purpose of life, the definition of leadership, and the very careful and responsible use of power. It is a journey of passionate desire for truth that overrides personal ambitions and self aggrandizement.

It is a heart issue. It always has been and always will be. And what is in the heart of the person who wears the uniform will always show itself in action, behaviour and language.

Angry Decisions - Step Seven

2006-09-18T11:49:00.000-06:00

The Twelve Steps - Step Seven

Original wording ( A.A.): Humbly asked our Higher power to remove our shortcomings.

Corporate Wording: The motivation for making management decisions will no longer come from pride and arrogance, anger and defensiveness, or power and control. Decisions will come from humble and honest dialogue, wisdom and courage, empathy and understanding.

Commentary:

I have postponed moving on to the seventh step of the twelve step theme of cultural reformation because I do not wish to be overly critical of an institution that I still care about. When we talk of reformation and transformation, however, it is inevitable that an honest and critical analysis of shortcomings take place. I do not profess to be without shortcomings myself, nor do I necessarily have the answers. What I have had opportunity to do is to reflect and learn from my own weaknesses and shortcomings and come to desire change. I have also done much reflection on the institutional shortcomings that I have experienced. As in my own case, bringing these to light will cause pain, but this is a necessary step in the recovery process.

The RCMP as an institution is in dire need of change. There are too many broken and wrecked lives at stake, past, present and future. My use of story and illustration from my experiences is not designed to "embarass" but rather to shine light on the institutional shortcomings that really flow out of the shortcomings of individuals.

This commentary may prove to be my most provocative and controversial yet, however I feel compelled to speak truth for the sake of the institution and the individuals within, particularly those who are passionate for positive change.

In 1999, in my frustration and disillusionment with a seemingly manipulative strategy of apparent propaganda in the "war" on biker gangs, I released some benign documents to an author which outlined a national strategy to use media releases about biker gang activity to motivate the public to put pressure on the government to provide more resources for police. The strategy in and of itself, while, in my view, ineffective and politically motivated, was not necessarily so outrageous. When coupled with the historic investigative inaction against biker gangs, it became a strong issue of frustration for many investigationally minded police officers.

I have always maintained that my actions were ill advised and a lapse in judgment. What I have also maintained is that my motives were true and my frustrations were valid. To some, this sounded like a half hearted apology. I could not, however, compromise on my own motives. They were true then and they are true now. Once these documents were printed ( which was not my intent) and other police officers were suspected, in good conscience and with much anguish I admitted my actions to my managers.

My own 'mea culpa' resulted in a dominoe effect of decisions based on the foundation of anger, fear, and negative pride. In preparation for my internal disciplinary hearing I sought out the evidence to support this argument. Several disclosure, and Privacy Act requests later I gleaned the evidence that I required.

Senior executives in the RCMP could not disguise their rage in e-mails as they dialogued back and forth about the media attention my case was generating. The RCMP prosecutor's correspondance with other senior officers dripped with sarcasm and contempt. These emotions eventually resulted in his illegal withholding of relevant disclosure evidence, and my successful bid for justice at the Federal Court of Canada.

Orders were given, suspensions and attempted stoppages of pay, gag orders, and administrative intimidation tactics employed. Two or three witnesses remarked after my hearing that the piercing and intimidating stare of the RCMP adjudication board chairman had a rattling effect on their ability to courageously speak truth.

The rage did not stop with me. At least three police officers who gave evidence became victims of career sabotage, with one losing his security clearance for seven months, without evidence or investigation. All for the offence of speaking truth under oath. The details of what took place at this time would shock and dismay most objective observers, and as I work towards the writing of a book on these experiences, I know in my heart that there are some stories that need to be told. Good men of integrity were hurt deeply as the creeping tentacles of anger and contempt took hold of otherwise decent people in positions of authority.

Inevitably, decisions made from fear, rage, contempt, arrogance, and intimidation are wrong decisions. I thank God for the courage He gave me to stand against these decisions and challenge them.

The disciplinary process and decisions stemming from these negative emotions were wrong, and the Federal Court of Canada agreed, overturning an order to resign, and re-instating me to the RCMP.

The shortcomings of the RCMP, and I would suggest all police agencies, are highlighted in the decisions that come from areas of pride, anger, contempt, sarcasm, cynicism and abuse of power. When decisions are made under the influence of wisdom and the emotions of peace, kindness, courage, and doing what is right, these become decisions that will restore the institution of the RCMP to one of nobility and honor.

There are wise and courageous leaders in the RCMP. It is up to them to stand against the shortcomings of their peers. Angry people make angry decisions. Peaceful and wise people make peaceful and wise decisions. These will always be the right decisions.

I ask this question of the reader. Does reading this make you angry? Or does reading this make you smile and reflect on the possibility that what I am attempting to say may make some sense. Is it possible?

Hope

2006-09-06T12:46:00.000-06:00

In the stormy seas of life, where is your lighthouse? In this past year I spoke with a man who had painfully shared that he had contemplated suicide on several occasions in his life. He spoke of a time when it seemed like the waves were crashing in on him from all sides, and he was so close to going under. Marital problems, addictions, job loss, despair. Many of us take pride in bulldozing our way through the struggles and heartache of lifes traumas, and wonder, usually insensitively, why others can't just suck it up and move on.

Emotions are bottled in, our masks are placed firmly on, and we cannot possibly show weakness or vulnerability to one another for fear of judgment and ridicule. We suffer in silence when we hear people speak of the weaknesses of others, recognizing the same weaknesses in ourselves.

The waves of ridicule, condemnation, shame, judgment, and other peoples opinions of us continue to pound down upon us as we try to navigate the already choppy waters of life.

Where is the light? Where is the hope? Our own strength and intelligence can only carry us so far if we are to be gut wrenchingly honest with ourselves. The mask of having it all together becomes more and more precariously balanced as we struggle to keep up this image.

When we are struggling, whether it be with addictions or other issues in life,we are often told by well meaning people that we are strong, that we can get through this. In my own experiences with life I have come to realize that as opposed to hanging on to my own strength, that it was much more liberating to accept and embrace my own weakness.

Until we are able to recognize our weaknesses and fallibilities are we able to humbly accept that there is something much more powerful than us that is at work in this world. Our God of love is the strength for those willing to admit their need. Our god of self will inevitably let us down and fail us in our own strength.

If the waves are crashing down on you and you are struggling with life, feeling depressed, desperate, disillusioned, maybe it is time to seek out a new light house. There is hope for radical change in our lives when we come to the realization that we desperately need it and want it. I encourage the reader, wherever they may be in life, to click on to the link to the right of your screen, Community of Hope. Open your heart and mind to the true lighthouse that will bring you through the stormy seas of life. What have you got to lose?

Be The Change

2006-09-01T13:05:00.000-06:00

My friend, and pastor, Stew Carson once encouraged me and others to find our holy discontent. What he meant by this was to find something in life that you are passionate about changing. There are so many wrongs around us and in us that it is difficult to address them all. Becoming at peace with the fact that injustices will always take place, does not mean that a person should ignore, accept, or roll over when an injustice hits them smack in the face. Chasing injustices can lead to frustration. Confronting the injustices in your own life and circle of influence can lead to freedom and courage and change.

How many cop coffee conversations are marked by the frustration about persons, situations, and injustices? This is an indicator that we desire change and yet so often do not know how to usher in change in our lives and environments. Ghandi's words ring true. If you are griping for change, become that change. If you are angry about poor leadership, become a courageous leader. If you are angry about deceit become a speaker of truth. If you are angry or disillusioned about where you are at in life, then start asking the questions and seeking objective truth, open your mind and heart to areas where they were previously closed.

The next time you find yourself complaining about a person, situation, or injustice, ask yourself what it is that is in your capacity to challenge or change the situation. Your holy discontent could just be a prodding in your soul as to what your purpose is here on this earth. Listen to the discontent and take the risk of action.

Bully For You - Step Six

2006-08-29T15:08:00.000-06:00

The Twelve Steps - Step Six

Original Wording ( A.A.): We are entirely ready to have our Higher Power remove all these defects of character.

Corporate Wording: We recognize that intelligence and learned behaviours designed to promote ones own personal ambitions can never replace the core character qualities such as courage and integrity. We are ready to promote courageous persons who will challenge wrongdoing and pursue truth at personal risk. We will elevate and model the qualities of character, providing training, influence, and courageous leadership as examples to others.

Commentary: In the early 1980's the RCMP training academy, "Depot", was a place of learning excellence and high standards. Recruits were put through a rigourous six month program designed to prepare them for the myriad of problems and situations they would face as police officers across Canada.

Like most institutions and learning environments, there was also a seriously erroneous paradox in its 'raison d'etre' ; as it was also a breeding ground for deep character flaws, in particular abuses of personal power.

Abuse of power was modeled by some instructors and thus passed on to the recruit. One weeks seniority over another troop often translated into verbal abuse and unjust consequences for the most minor of offences, as the senior troop was tasked to inspect the more junior troops.

Recruits were encouraged to bully the weaker performers in their troop in a misguided attempt to bring their performance up to a higher standard. " You're bringing down the troop." was often harshly verbalized to the more moderate to low performers.

I remember vividly the shaming and abuse that I took part in myself, as a supposedly higher performer, as several troopmates and I handcuffed and shaved the legs of a "weaker performer", in order to get him to comply and work harder. Like the "code red" ordered by the Commanding Officer, played by Jack Nicholson, in the movie A Few Good Men, this was nothing more than mean spirited abuse of power designed to oppress and destroy the dignity and spirit of a fellow human being. All in the name of compliance and troop 'esprit de corps.'

I can still see the hurt and pain in my troopmates face and for this action I am so deeply sorry that I got caught up in the influence of the cultural evil and abuse that was allowed, and encouraged, to exist. The times I have abused my own power as a police officer have ceased to haunt me as they used to. I cannot forget, however, where I was and where I have come from on my own journey of transformation and restoration. Abuse of power and bullying is wrong on all accounts. It was wrong when I allowed myself to fall into its trap and it is wrong now.

Psychologists often say that what one hates the most in another persons behaviour is what one struggles with the most in themselves. I recognize my capacity to bully and abuse power. I also recognize my passionate dislike of bullying behaviour, particularly when it comes in the form of institutional fear.

Thankfully in this day and age this type of activity that I have described would be a human rights issue that could and should be challenged to the fullest extent of the laws of the land.

What this systemic mentality has done however is perpetrated the thread of abuse and bullying in a culture where mindsets and understanding remain, at times, archaically un-illuminated.

Looking out for ones own career and ambitions become the motivating factor of performance, and the weaker performers, or certainly those who would stand in the way of these goals, become the bullied.

It is difficult to change the mindset of a culture where the individuals involved are birthed and molded into the particular ethos in question. Like the rehabilitation of a person who as a child is brought up with anti-social behaviours and ideals, the transforming process can be extremely difficult, taking time, patience, humility, and courage.

Bullying and intimidation by police officers is a systemic character flaw that requires strong opposition, in a spirit of respect and moral goodness. A retraining of ideals, morals, values and expectations is required to undo the cultural framework of decades old mindsets.

Unfortunately, as I have identified throughout this blog, when challenged, police officers of the highest rank are often lured into the default position of their institutional roots of abuse of power. The recruit in the troop with one more weeks seniority, many years later, becomes the officer with one higher level of rank, bringing with themselves an expectation of unquestioned conformity and complicity.

I have often reflected on the phenomenon of the senior officer who would ignore the lower ranking members in day to day office life, only to smile and exuberantly shake their hand the next week when they are now retired and selling real estate and tell the same person that if there is anything they can do for them to let them know.

A false and flawed perception of ones own importance and power can wreak havoc on an institution. This institutional character flaw is one which needs correction and removal. Courageous leaders know this intrinsically. It is up to them to do their part in bringing this transformation about. The noble and courageous side of the police officer must win over the abusive and self centered side. Leaders need to model a self sacrificial and humble attitude as moral values and doing what is right regardless of personal risk, become the benchmark of performance.

Live, Love, Laugh, Learn, and Leave a Legacy

2006-08-24T14:59:00.000-06:00

As I approach this weekend in anticipation of a great time of river rafting, camping and fishing with a group of men of integrity, conviction and courage, I am reflective upon the destruction that a drivenness to succeed can cause an individual and his/her family.

I intend on returning to the twelve step series on Monday, but for today I wanted to comment, once again, on the idea of success. How we measure success ( because we all want to succeed ) will determine how we live our life.

I attribute my reflective state today to a coffee I shared this morning with a good friend who is a struggling former police officer. By the measurement of the profession ( such as investigative ability, reputation, and results) he was highly successful. A series of events have taken place that have left him alienated by many of his former colleagues, and brought him to a place of deep introspection himself.

I watched him as he held his wife in his arm, the love and commitment very clear in his look and actions, after enduring much hardship and heartache together, and I thought " wow, no matter what he has done in his career, this is true success."

We are bombarded with the illusion that success is something that can be bought, acquired or achieved. We strive to impress and strive to achieve only to realize that the always moving standard of outward success will never, ever, bring peace and wholeness to our hearts and souls.

A gentle and peaceful soul, a hearty laugh, kibittzing with little kids, living an authentic and real life, in all its ups and downs, is to have succeeded. Having the respect of persons of character and integrity is to have succeeded. Living with courage is to have succeeded.

I know my friend has and will continue to succeed in the important areas of life. He is a man of courage and compassion who, unfortunately, has hit a rough patch in life and has been let down by the institution that he has poured his heart and soul into.

From tragedy can come triumph. An awakening to the important things in life can sometimes be very painful but is always a blessing in disguise.

For the cops out there who are struggling, I encourage you to really read the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Re-align your priorities and convictions and enjoy a successful and rich life of love, laughter, simplicity, courage and honor. This is the only lasting legacy that is worth anything at all. It is worth your all.

Sometimes the Best Light Comes From a Burning Bridge

2006-08-23T10:57:00.000-06:00

I rarely like to begin a musing with a disclaimer attached to it but here goes. Please forgive me if I sound a little fired up today but I am, it is only because I care.

I received a heartbreaking e-mail from an RCMP member yesterday whose battle to pursue what is right and good for the benefit of the organization is taking its toll on his emotional health. Because he cares and desires to make a difference in fighting for an ideal and principle that is higher than his own personal ambitions, he has faced down venemous opposition and attempted 'intimidation by rank,' from some of his management.

I suspect that many of his detractors have never even had a coffee with him and got to know the depth of his character and conviction. He is seen as an agitator - only because he dares to challenge poor leadership. What they don't see is his anguish and frustration as a committed family man, husband, father, and passionate member of what is supposed to be a courageous and honorable profession.

High ideals of courage and character and integrity are always going to be met with opposition which is often underhanded and cowardly in its execution.

One of my new favorite authors, Gus Lee has written a book entitled Courage: The Backbone of Leadership. It is a dangerous book and quite possibly a threat to institutions weaned on a command and control mindset. Lee is a much sought after corporate consultant and a recognized expert in leadership and ethics.

Lee describes living a life of courage as being on a river bank. On the safe side of the bank is a good person, he tells the truth, he doesn't cheat or steal or lie and will follow a prescribed ethical code by his institution. On the other, more dangerous side of the river, known as the river of fear, is the life of the courageous person. They will take risks for principles and other people, they act with integrity and discern right from wrong, they stop and expose wrongdoing and challenge injustices. Their character is one of sustained integrity and courage.

To get to the life of courage and conviction and integrity, the good person needs to make a commitment to cross the river of fear to become a great person. Injustices, intimidations, abuses of power, and fearmongering have got to be challenged and stopped by someone. They cannot be stopped until the good person chooses to cross the river.

I suspect that my friend has entered the river, desires more than anything to cross it, is in the middle and wondering if he should go back to the safety of goodness and honesty, or whether he should plunge ahead onto the bank of courage and integrity and character. I am hopeful that he will make the latter choice.

I am reminded by a line in a song by Don Henley: " sometimes the best light comes from a burning bridge."

To my friend who is struggling, and to so many other good people out there who desire to cross the river, I encourage you to do it and never look back. Burn the bridge of security and safety, status quo, indifference, apathy and loyalty to institutional wrongdoing and negative pride. You will never regret standing up and fighting for something that is larger than yourself. You will be able to look into the mirror with a clear conscience and a humble spirit and know that in your own small way that you have made a difference for the good.

Painful Confessions - Step Five

2006-08-22T12:29:00.000-06:00

The Twelve Steps - Step Five

Original Wording (A.A.): Admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Corporate Wording: We will make a public and corporate confession of the injustices, oppressions, abuses, cruelties, mistakes and cover ups that have plagued the RCMP ( or any other institution of power ) since its inception.

Commentary:

In the fall of 1999 I was deeply affected by a telephone conversation I had with a member of the RCMP who was off work on a medical leave. I had just been promoted to Staff Sergeant in charge of administration for the province of Alberta, a significant stretch from my previous roles in organized crime, undercover, homicide work, and anti-terrorism.

This member asked me, point blank, what I had against him. " Nothing at all," I stammered, " in fact I'm pretty sure I don't know you." He then read a harsh statement which was attached to a notice of intent to medically discharge him. This statement, in its impersonal legalese, sounded mean spirited and officious. It had my signature on it.

While it was highly tempting to justify and pacify, I had to admit my agreement with him. " No I don't have anything against you at all, in fact as I read your case it seems to me that you are being treated unjustly by the force."

I was ashamed that I had signed such a document. It was wrong and I knew it. "But what could I possibly do about it ?" I justified to myself, " decisions were made at a higher level than me."

This member had broken his ankle while breaking up a violent domestic dispute and due to manpower shortages did not have any back up. His ankle did not heal and, in my view, a callous and cold hearted decision was made to discharge him... and I was part of the process.

It was wrong then and it is wrong today. I sadly reflect that this is only one story among thousands, of police officers left hung out to dry by the institution that they once served with commitment and dignity.

My role as an administrator opened my eyes to the pettiness and contempt that can grow internally between those whose position it is to administrate the functioning of the institution and those who are on the front lines. Meetings among senior managers were, at times, marked by sarcastic scoffing, rolling of eyes, and subtle character assasinations when it came to police officers who had made mistakes or were unwilling to role over and accept internal injustices.

Harassment investigations were often discussed with contempt and cynicism by those whose role it was to ensure that it ceased.

It made me sad and angry, not only with what was going on, but with how quickly I was influenced and sucked in to a similar mindset, and how difficult it was to resist. Negativity fuels negativity. Contempt and sarcasm fuels other contempts and sarcasms. Unfortunately, as history would testify, the leaders of corporations, countries and institutions, otherwise intelligent men and women, are not immune to the lure of the negative spiral into petty judgment, sarcastic scoffing, and contempt of others.

What is frightening is that decisions are often made from the paradigm of these contempts, and then vigorously defended in a face saving exercise that can sometimes last for years and cost thousands, if not millions, of dollars.

The emotional maturation of an institution, such as the RCMP, is reliant upon the ability to admit wrongdoing and mistakes. Experts recognize that growth can only come when the fearless moral inventory is progressed through to a public declaration of faults and errors.

The RCMP is faced with a paradoxical dilemma on this fifth step. To admit errors and mistakes, sometimes those that have had catastrophic results, is to "undermine the public confidence in the force." Yet to hide and cover up our mistakes, in order to save face, has the exact opposite effect of its intended purpose.

The oppression and cruelty that has been shown towards many members of the RCMP by its leaders is, tragically, a reflection of the larger picture of what has, at times, taken place with members of the public.

The Higher Power spoken of in the A.A. wording cannot translate into Parliament, Political Parties, or Prime Ministers. The admission to the Higher Power is that which is the objective standard of right and wrong, truth and deceit. The admission to others is the RCMP membership, the public, and a thoughtful and soulful admission to self at the highest levels of leadership.

Like the individual, these corporate confessions are painful. However, it is only through this pain that healing, restoration and reformation, will come.

Integrity

2006-08-13T16:22:00.000-06:00

"Integrity comes when character is tested; keep true and never be ashamed of doing what is right."

Wouldn't our world and the profession of policing be a different place if more people committed to pursuing a life of integrity and honor? In spite of our past, our mistakes, our foolishness, our reputations; a life of integrity begins with a step and a decision to speak truth, live honorably, pursue goodness, stand firm, and live with courage and selflessness.

Wow, sounds like a great way to leave our legacies for our families, communities, professions and sphere of influence. Do you know someone with integrity? Are you someone with integrity? Why not begin now? - it is the greatest gift that we can give ourselves and those around us. If not you, who?

Step Five of the Twelve Steps to come in a week...

Gone Fishin'

2006-08-06T18:22:00.000-06:00

Or at least camping, hiking, and relaxing!!! Looking forward to Step Five in about two weeks.

The Eight Hundred Pound Gorilla - Step Four

2006-08-04T11:44:00.000-06:00

The Twelve Steps - Step Four

Original Wording (A.A.): Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Corporate Wording: Notwithstanding the outstanding work that has been done by many men and women in the force, we are corporately committed to conducting an inventory or our wrongs, deceits, cover-ups, oppressions, cruelties, ommissions and policies that have brought pain and suffering to other human beings.

Commentary:

One of the most difficult steps that an individual can make is to examine their dark side under the light of objective truth and goodness. This is a painful and humbling process that nevertheless is a crucial step in any recovery program.

I have received some very good critical feedback on this blog from people of all walks of life. Many police officers are quietly cheering me on ( some not so quietly, and thank you!). With this feedback has come the encouragement to keep true to my purpose and that is to bring hope.

I do not wish to focus solely on the negative side of a profession and institution that I care about. Some of the best people I have ever met and worked with are current members of the RCMP. Courageous, intelligent and passionate, I have been honored to serve along side them. They, too, however would be more than willing to acknowledge the dark side of their profession, if given the opportunity and safety to do so.

After the fall of the oppressive and abusive apartheid government, South Africa developed the Truth and Reconciliation Committee. The purpose of this committee is evidenced in the name and this is what the former justice minister had to say about its existence.

"... a commission is a necessary exercise to enable South Africans to come to terms with their past on a morally accepted basis and to advance the cause of reconciliation." Mr Dullah Omar, former Minister of Justice

This is step four in action at a National level. Coming to terms with our past on a morally accepted basis, should be the concern of any institution in need of reformation. I take no pleasure in stating that the RCMP, like any other institution or police service, has an historical legacy of darkness and cruelty throughout its existence.

Like the black sheep relative that no family wants to talk about for fear of embarassment and exposure, this dark side exists nonetheless. I know this from my own experience as I have not only contributed to this dark side, but I have also been the recipient of it. I have made peace with my own contributions of oppression, cruelties and deceit. I could only do so by going through a twelve step type of process myself.

Individual or corporate decisions made out of anger, fear, pride, hatred, ridicule, arrogance and judgment, are decisions made in moral darkness. These decisions and actions are, at times, challenged and brought to the light, exposed for what they are. Unfortunately many have remained in the shadows for many years.

The RCMP is not alone in this predicament. Almost every institution that has existed where there is the capacity for power, have fallen to the temptations of abusing those powers. From churches, to political parties, to reform schools, to nations - the stories continue to bring outrage and shock to an otherwise uninformed public.

The fearless moral inventory begins with the individual in the police force. It begins with the leaders. The corporate moral inventory begins when one of these leaders has the courage and conviction to stand up to their peers and corporate head and say " it is time for us to acknowledge our collective mistakes, cruelties and evils and stop pretending that the eight hundred pound gorilla sitting in the corner of our living room is not there."

The right way, the wrong way, the RCMP way - Step Three

2006-08-03T12:10:00.000-06:00

The Twelve Steps - Step Three

Original Wording ( A.A.): Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power.

Corporate Wording: We have made a decision to lay down our idol of 'the force', humbly acknowledge our corporate and individual fallibilities, and submit to the spiritual truth that there is a Power that is higher than any decisions and policies that may be formulated to worship and protect the image of our former idol.

Commentary:

As a young police officer I was always curious as to why we would do things a certain way when they seemed to defy common sense. The off the cuff comment of more seasoned officers was the tongue in cheek mantra " there's the right way, the wrong way, and the RCMP way."

Later in my service I would read public documents addressing the issue of municipalities and provinces speculating on the merits of forming their own police force. The words on the documents went on to define the purpose of the RCMP as " desiring to remain as the police force of choice." Several of my co-workers and I would once again ask the question "why, what if a more localized policing service is more effective for the public good? What are we hanging on to?"

The RCMP's greatest strength from an international perspective is its reputation and image. The red serge is an icon of law and order and goodness. This reputation, which is highly regarded, is in many ways well earned. Lamentably this iconic status is also the RCMP's greatest weakness as decisions, policies, and purpose succumb, at times, to the protection of this image at all costs.

It is sad to say that in so many instances decisions, public statements and policies become motivated by politics and protection of image instead of speaking truth and doing what is right. 'Maintiens Le Droit' (Maintain the Right ) is always under the threat of being replaced by 'Maintiens Le Image.'

Corporately this causes for a culture of cynicism from those who don't buy in to the mindset, and, perhaps, complacency, and apathy for those who do. Frustrations mount, souls are sold out, and morale is in crisis.

The virtues presented in Step Two are representative of the virtues demanded by the Higher Power spoken of. The pursuit of these virtues must replace the idol of image for the force to heal and recover. As in the case of individuals, 'corporate pride' must be broken to allow room for goodness, truth and nobility to flourish.

Objective Truth - Step Two

2006-08-02T11:23:00.000-06:00

The Twelve Steps - Step Two

Original Wording ( A.A.): We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Corporate Wording: We came to believe that objective virtues such as truth, respect, humility, wisdom and courage, when pursued and modeled by the highest levels of leadership, will transform a culture and restore us to nobility.

Commentary:

Anyone who knows me or has worked with me can attest to my former wild and rebellious side. The paradox in my own behaviour and actions was that while I was not necessarily leading a life of integrity and courage, I was passionately desiring to find it in the leadership of the RCMP. To find a mentor with courage, compassion and wisdom was to find a life giving source and model for how one may lead with integrity.

I confess to the incongruency of my own standards of behaviour while still searching for a higher standard in others, particularly those in senior management. C.S. Lewis' words on this point ring true. " I hope you will not misunderstand what I am going to say. I am not preaching and heaven knows I do not pretend to be better than anyone else. I am only trying to call attention to a fact; the fact that this year , or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people."

Several years ago the RCMP developed a value statement that I believed in and wanted to live my life by. However, finding a role model of those virtues that I would want to follow became, regrettably, like a search for the holy grail.

The cliche of 'walking the talk' became the buzz phrase but I came to realize that what constituted the standard of what that walk looked like, was highly subjective. I have come to learn that mentorship can come in many ways. Books and authors became my mentors as I desired more than anything to discover if there was such a thing as objective truth and goodness. My re-committed relationship with God, became my new life force.

The RCMP membership is looking to its leaders for guidance and goodness, if not greatness. The influence of a highly ethical, courageous, and compassionate leader is immeasurable in its ability to bring change and health. As a corporation it is not the stated values that will bring about recovery, it is the living of the virtues that will. To quote C.S. Lewis again: ( one of my mentors !) " Right actions done for the wrong reason do not help to build the internal quality or character called a 'virtue' and it is this quality or character that really matters."

If a police officer ( at all ranks) commits to the development of these virtues, and holds strong to the compass they provide, they will have tremendous influence in their institution, in spite of the odds.

Natural Law, or the law of decent behaviour, protects,nurtures and rewards a life lived by these virtues, even in the face of adversity and oppression. Natural Law ( for those so inclined, ... God ) is a power that is unstoppable in its ability to transform an individual, culture, institution, or nation.

Goodness and truth always shines through the darkness. This power is much greater than any institutional ethos based on words and principles that have not penetrated the heart of the individual, the institution or its leaders.

"Uphill - both ways" - Step One

2006-08-01T11:13:00.000-06:00

The Twelve Steps - Step One

Original Wording ( A.A. ): We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Corporate Wording: We admit that how we are leading the people in our organization is not working - morale is low and frustration is high. Command and Control is no longer a feasible model of management. We are powerless.

Commentary:

" Back in my day we walked to school over two miles, in the snow, uphill both ways!" My kids and I joke about this age-old cliche that capsulizes the frustration and attitude of an older generation lamenting the worldview and attitude of a younger generation. Several years ago I was a shift supervisor in Richmond B.C. Having only about 12 years of service I was already caught up in the cynical lament that "they're just not making recruits like they used to, why back in my day...( fill in the blank )."

Recruits were more formally educated and were not afraid to ask the question "why"? This was a challenge for police officers who were not comfortable with the question why. So the answer often came in the form of "because it's policy" or " because I'm the Corporal and you're not."

This attitude has, not surprisingly, continued on at all levels of management. While the RCMP has taken great strides to change their leadership paradigm, old habits and cultural mindsets die hard. Leaders were encouraged to become "coaches" ( in my view a step in the right direction) but were often not selected for their ability to coach. Wise coaching is a gift that some people do not particularly have. So they often revert to a "because I said so" mode of managing which leaves many people frustrated and upset.

The ability to maturely dialogue with a dissenting voice is, sadly, a rare thing. The ability to logically defend a position, or to admit our errors in perceptions and paradigms is in many instances, a lacking commodity in the profession of policing.

This is where the admission of required change, just like in the twelve step program, is the crucial first step in the recovery of healthy working cultures.

Twelve Steps to Recovery

2006-07-31T11:52:00.000-06:00

There is something that is both unnerving and exciting about posting ones musings on a blog for all to read. As I wrestle with my own questions and personal motivations as to why I even take the time to sit and write, I am embracing the freedom and finding the peace with the acknowledgement that I have no control over who may choose to take the time to read and either accept or reject what I have to say.

While in previous posts I have written about the healing of an individual, I will attempt in the next several posts to examine the reformation or recovery of the culture itself, that, of course, is made up of individuals.

Arguably, the most effective 'program' for transformational change in an individual struggling with addictions is the "twelve step" program. I have done some work with people that are in the program and I am familiar with similar programs designed to assist people in all areas of emotional, psychological, and spiritual struggle. The twelve step program is applicable to all who have lived in, or are experiencing relational dysfunction, not just those who struggle with addiction.

The idea came to me that the twelve step program could be applied to the ailments of a culture, corporation, or group in need of change. While I may use the RCMP as my contextual culture, it strikes me that this is not only applicable to all police services but it would also apply to other working entities struggling with low morale, poisonous environments, and general malaise. To be certain, there are some healthy areas within a policing culture, all of which are guided by strong and compassionate leadership.

The twelve steps is a recovery program that brings healing. That is my hope for an institution and profession that I care for very deeply. However, one of the most widely recognized characteristics of any successful twelve step journey is the ability to admit that there is a problem. This is why there is a requirement for those involved in the program to openly confess their problem- be that addictions, compulsions, or any other harmful dysfunctions. In contrast to a personal introduction, this twelve step journey may begin with a confession like this:

" I am the profession of policing made up of individuals struggling well or not so well with life. Like the individual, I have a good side, a noble side, and a redemptive side. I also have a dark side, a hurtful side, and a dysfunctioning side. I am on the road to recovery."

Please stay tuned for Step One.....

With a Rebel Yell.....

2006-07-29T10:50:00.000-06:00

"A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it." - G.K. Chesterton - Everlasting Man, 1925

One of the purposes of this blog is to challenge the traditional mindset of the cop culture, doing so from a position of respect and care, with the hope of encouraging change. When I speak of disillusionment the word actually means distancing oneself from the illusion. A few years ago, in my disciplinary decision for 'blowing the whistle' I was criticized by the adjudicating officer for 'leading a defiant lifestyle.' I was shocked, hurt, and exasperated with his assessment. This man did not know me, how could he possibly know what kind of lifestyle I led? My record was impeccable, I had received early and rapid promotions, and my file was filled with very positive evaluations. Certainly not evidence of a 'defiant lifestyle.'

Now, had he said that I was the type of person who would respectfully challenge the status quo and traditional methods of management and leadership, or ineffective policies and strategies, he would have been right. Calling that a 'defiant lifestyle' took a tremendous leap of logic, where the evidence would certainly not support the assessment.

What I learned through this experience is that many people are not comfortable with the questioning or challenging of poor or outdated, if not fundamentally wrong, modes of operation. The 'illusion' that is guarded , in many ways by abuse of power, administrative bullying, and sometimes, sadly, even subversive smear campaigns, is held by a fierce grip of control that does not let go easily.

Many cops, therefore, become 'dis' illusioned. I can now see that being disillusioned with my profession and organization was actually a good thing. I have grown from this and learned to embrace the side of myself that desires to reject the illusion.

I confess to the rebel within, and I encourage others to learn how to harness and positively feed that rebel spirit to bring about necessary and bold changes in their environment. The changes I speak of are changes where mutual respect, wise leadership, compassionate decision making, and working environments free of oppression and deception, become the norm and not the exception. Not exactly a position you might consider from someone leading a 'defiant lifestyle!'

A divine tap on the shoulder

2006-07-28T12:03:00.000-06:00

I truly believe that I cannot talk about hope and healing without talking about God. I have purposefully chosen not to be overly "religious" in this blog. I really don't like that word, but the reality of our lives, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, is that we are spiritual beings. Acknowledging that there is a God and He is not us is a great place to start when one is wrestling with the inevitable questions of purpose and meaning in life. Getting connected with the powerful life force that is God is a whole other process that comes from the desire to pursue those questions with relentless intent, discernment and an openness to learn and grow.

Disillusionment with your profession, your life, your own mistakes, or your leaders can serve as a wake-up call that God is tapping on your shoulder, trying to get your attention. He got my attention in a big way a few years ago, more a two by four over the head than a tap, and I couldn't help but listen.

While I would never cram a Bible down anyone's throat ( because if someone tried to do that to me years ago I would have written him off as a nutbar), I do encourage other hurting police officers to begin the process of consideration that there is something bigger than all of us that causes us to be here in this place and time.

You cannot separate the emotional from the spiritual. Changes of habits on the exterior are temporary changes. For any change to be lifelong it needs to begin on the inside. A change of heart and soul. The pursuit of goodness and truth is really the pursuit of God, the question we need to sometimes ask ourselves is whether or not we truly desire to pursue truth and goodness, as it can sometimes be a lonely and painful road to travel.

What's my motivation?

2006-07-27T09:32:00.000-06:00

Several years ago I was a member of the RCMP's anti-terrorist unit, SERT, in Ottawa. This unit was highly trained and staffed with motivated and dedicated police officers. SERT was eventually replaced by an arm of the Canadian Forces entitled JTFII. Near the end of its existence SERT endured a large scale investigation into allegations of racism against francophone members, and insubordination. Part of these allegations came from a senior officer who had been placed in charge of the team during the time of transition from the RCMP to the military.

This officer had tremendous difficulty in gaining the respect of the team he was assigned to lead and in an effort to produce what seemed to be a fear based motivation to conform, once commented to several members of the team. " When I am working I ask myself would I be doing this same thing if that man was standing here? I do my work as if he is here all the time " The picture he pointed to was a picture of the Commissioner of the RCMP.

I tell this story not to sully the reputation of SERT, or the officer who made the comment, rather I am using this illustration to identify the danger of fear based leadership. This officer seemed to be motivated by either the idolization, or fear of, the Commissioner of the RCMP. For many officers there seems to be an intrinsic fear of: making mistakes, subjective discipline, or abuses of power.

If one's motivation for trying to do the right thing comes from a paradigm of fear, idolatry, power or personal ambition, then it is coming from the wrong place. These motivators will not sustain our health for the long term haul of life and career.

I have spent much of my life motivated by a combination of these unhealthy influences. Most of us have. Yet they will always leave us wanting. We are left with a sense of uneasiness, if not defeat. We become defined by our lack of courage in making decisions that are right and just. In short, we compromise. Compromising on doing what is right inevitably leads us into a downward spiral of mediocrity, self-centeredness, and despair.

The question then becomes; where is our compass in determining right and wrong? Do we point to a photo of a man in power, which is really nothing more than 'Comissioner-olatry'? Or do we look inward to that deeper sense of conviction, that intrinsic conscience that sometimes haunts us in those lonely hours of the morning when we can't sleep, something nudging us to acknowledge that things are not quite right and change is necessary. I encourage others to listen to that voice of conscience, for it is the voice of truth.

A dose of humor

2006-07-26T10:37:00.001-06:00

While humor in policing can sometimes be very dark, it has and always will be a great stress relief for many officers. When I was a rookie we had cheat cards with the proper wording for an arrest and the reading of a suspects rights. I only wish that I had a cheat card with the following answers to the inevitable statements ( that seems to be an international phenomenon ) that a police officer hears when making an arrest.

No, I don't know who you are.
No, I don't care who you know.
Yes, you do pay my salary.
Yes, you can have my job.
No, I don't have anything better to do.
Yes, I arrest real criminals sometimes.
No, I'm not picking on you because you're _______.
No, I can't give you a break.
No, I don't know your friend.
Yes, you will be allowed to make a phone call.
Yes, you probably will never do it again.
No, we can't talk about it.
Yes, it does make me happy.
Yes, you will see me in court.

Taking oneself too seriously is hazardous to ones health!

With great power........

2006-07-24T09:14:00.000-06:00

Recently, I was involved in an e-mail dialogue with several police officers as they voiced their frustration in their struggle to be heard by their senior managers. The frustrations of many agents of change is that they are at best ignored, and at worst bullied, by those given the responsibility to lead with integrity. This is, quite sadly, a reality of the dark underbelly of policing which drives many passionate police officers to a place of despair and frustration. That despair and frustration may manifest into unhealthy lifestyles and attitudes when not acknowledged and validated.

The leader of one of the largest police forces in Canada was reported to have said to his membership " make no mistake, I am not accountable to you." I was saddened when I heard this, yet not really surprised. When facing a crisis of leadership, many people resort to a command and control paradigm, by design or implication, in attempts to silence the voice of concern and dissent.

This is systemically a part of the para-military structure that police services are modeled under, and in highly charged and dangerous situations, a decisive command is often required. However, when dealing with human behaviour, attitudes, motivations, and more complex issues, command and control does not work. It only serves to further alienate otherwise passionate and dedicated police officers.

A true leader is one with compassion, who has an attitude of service towards those he or she may be leading. A thick skin, a soft heart, and a wise mind are necessary ingredients to effective leadership. Leadership is influence and influence cannot be commanded down. Influence is capturing the hearts and minds of those one may lead, through a life of integrity, honor and wisdom. This is the cry of many passionate police officers to their leaders, 'we will follow if we trust, we will follow if you show you care, we will not follow if you choose to rule with an iron fist, silencing those with legitimate concerns and passions.'

In the wise words of Spiderman's elderly uncle " with great power comes great responsibility." Accountability is a two way street. Leaders are accountable to those they have been given the responsibility to lead. Coming to the understanding of this timeless truth will bring the profession and environment of policing that much closer to a place of health and healing.

Great Expectations

2006-07-21T09:55:00.000-06:00

In my desire to understand what causes burnout and disillusionment in the policing environment I have come to understand that we all have different expectations of ourselves, our environment, our leaders and our culture. Burnout involves unfulfilled expectations. Being worn down and tired out often occurs when something that we expected would take place, has not come about.

Often, unfulfilled expectations occur because those expectations have been too high. When we come to lower our expectations to more realistic ones, we are less likely to burnout.

I spoke with a member the other day and we spoke about the symptoms and manifestations of burnout. He asked me what I thought the first signs were. I told him that one of the signs comes when we think that if we do not get something done that it won't get done. We begin to think that we are irreplaceable in our position and we feel obligated to work harder and longer hours to achieve the goal of our position. His response was " well if I don't do this, it won't get done! We chuckled at that and he later let me know that he would think about what we discussed.

Feeling indespensible is a dangerous place to be. We place pressure on ourselves, our families and others around us as our stress mounts, our tempers are shortened, and we often find relief in unhealthy and unhappy places. We then become resentful of others who don't share our commitment or work ethic. That resentment turns into bitterness and this bitterness drains away healthy emotional energy.

Taking the time to understand that the investigation you are involved in, the cause you are fighting for, the role that you have undertaken, will all continue on if you were to not be there tomorrow, relieves stress and brings more balance to your life. Understanding our own limitations and shortcomings will help us be empathetic towards others, including our leaders who we may be in conflict with.

High expectations leads to frustration and burnout. No expectations means you have already burned out. Realistic expectations of self and others leads to balance and wisdom and health.

Success - what does it mean?

2006-07-19T10:38:00.000-06:00

I met with a good friend today, a police officer struggling with life. We discussed what it means to be successful in policing and successful in life. It became quite evident to us that the standard of success is different for all of us and that the measurement that we often get trapped into in policing often has to do with promotion, rank, and position or function.

Another friend and I were speaking a few weeks ago about a mutual friend who is a retired mountie. I asked my friend how he was doing. " Great " he replied and went on to tell me about his financial success. The measurement of "great" became financial, and little to do with family, purpose in life, personal integrity, or loving relationships.

Steven Covey writes " most people spend their lives climbing the ladder of success, only to get to the top and realize that it is leaning against the wrong wall."

In our quest to "succeed" we ask ourselves how that is defined? What does it mean to us to have succeeded in life? Many of us have a different definition of success and spend much of our lives pursuing that definition. I would like to suggest a healthier and longer lasting definition for police officers who are struggling with their identity, purpose and meaning in life.

Who you are at your core will define your success. Who you desire to become will define your success. Virtues such as honor and courage, integrity and compassion, honesty and trustworthiness, depth of character and self-sacrificial love, service to others and working for a cause that is greater than our own comfort, pleasure or recognition; will mark the definition of true success in this life.

The re-evaluation of what it means to be successful marks the beginning of healing and change in our lives. Chasing the ever elusive standard of rank, position, material wealth,
power and recognition will leave you empty and frustrated as you discover that these standards will never bring peace or satisfaction into your life, and in fact if allowed to become obsessions, will often leave a wake of destruction behind you.

I say this from personal experience as my own measurement of what it means to be a success was challenged and my paradigm radically shifted. I encourage the profession and those within it to wrestle with the question of what it means to be a success. And I go on to challenge others : define who you are by immovable qualities that will far outlast any investigation you were involved in , rank you have achieved, or recognition you might have recieved.

Walk a Mile

2006-07-17T15:44:00.000-06:00

"Do not criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins"
Native American Proverb

Most police officers are not known for their compassion. Social workers and those who would help the marginal in our society are often criticized by police officers as "bleeding hearts." A bleeding heart, of course, is someone that cops feel do not understand their difficult role, and in some ways they are right. I confess that I have become more of a bleeding heart as I age and ( hopefully ) mature.

This post of course is about police officers healing from their own traumas, worldviews, perceptions, and image. Therefore, as opposed to encouraging police critics to walk a mile in a cops shoes - and that mile is not a pretty strole in the park, I am challenging hurting cops to try to walk a mile in the shoes of those you have considered to be "them" in our "us and them" mindset.

Several years ago my understanding of life was turned upside down when I found myself counseling hurting, at risk teenagers, and adult men who were in trouble with the law and struggling with addictions. I needed to build trust with them in order to counsel, otherwise I was just another "cop" or authority figure who was more intent on judging them and stopping their behaviour as opposed to understanding them and encouraging change.

The stories that I heard from these people would make your heart break. Stories of abuse, abandonment, violence, hatred, and rejection. Many of them turned to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. Many became involved in selling drugs so that they may gain status or power over their peers. All the while, searching for love and acceptance, from those that were closest to them. I saw them from a different perspective, and while I would not or could not condone law breaking, I could begin to understand. My eyes were opened to an area of many people's lives that would otherwise been blurred by my black and white judgment of their outward behaviour.

For police officers to heal from their own hurts and pains and culture, part of the process is to try to see people from a different perspective. To see them from a place of understanding of where they have come from; to walk a mile in their shoes.

That is not to say that a police officer should not do what they are paid to do, and that is to gather evidence for the prosecution of criminal activity, but it is to say that it can still be done with compassion.

De-humanizing of others can only lead to the further hardening of one's heart and this is the condition that police officers are in most need of healing. Taking the time to consider that the person on the other side of "us and them" is someone's son or daughter, brother or sister, husband or wife who may have been beaten and broken by lifes circumstances, is the beginning of empathy. Empathy is not a quality that is highly revered in policing, but it is one that is sadly missing. Empathy for others, including co-workers and other police officers who may be struggling, begins when we stop judging and attempt to walk a mile in their moccasins.

The inability to empathize with another is a warning signal that healing in our own hearts is needed.

A time to mourn - A time to cry

2006-07-16T14:54:00.000-06:00

For everything there is a season - a time for every activity under heaven.

May we mourn, pray, and seek God's healing as we reflect on the sacrifices of the men and women, past, present, and future who place their lives on the line in doing their part to make this a better world.

For Constables Robin Cameron and Marc Bourdages

" God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God." Matt 5:9

Who am I when I'm not a cop ?

2006-07-14T09:43:00.000-06:00

The warning signs of burnout are quite visible to those around us, yet sometimes impossible for us to see in ourselves. Working longer hours, getting increasingly irritable, having an unhealthy balance in life priorities, sleeplessness, anger, drug or alcohol abuse... all of these can be signs or symptoms of burnout. Our bodies tell us when we are unbalanced in our life and our priorities.

Taking stock of life, taking a time-out from your identity as a police officer and seeking professional help is a beginning. There has always been a stigma attached to the idea of psychological/emotional therapy, particularly in the police culture. Once again it may be perceived as a sign of weakness which police officers are loathe to do. Yet in reality asking for help is a sign of courage.

I encourage police officers to once again begin with asking themselves questions. In particular, when facing depression, frustration or burnout, the following question may be helpful:

Who am I when I'm not a cop? Comprising a list of your roles is a beginning and may look like this.

My role as husband or wife or partner
My role as father or mother
My role as family member
My role in community
My role in friendships
My role in a position of influence

and so on.

The next question to ask is " how would those touched by my role describe how I am doing in that role."

This is a tough question, particularly when our lives are unbalanced. If your other, and in my view more important, roles are suffering as a result of your profession then you may be heading for burnout or worse. Re-assess, re-evaluate, and choose change so that when you ask the question " who am I when I'm not a cop?" You may be able to respond," I am Sue, or Frank, and I have value within my relationships outside of my profession."

If you are suffering from depression and lack of sleep please take the step of seeking out professional help. Talk to other cops who have come back from burnout or stress leave and ask them how they coped and what steps they took. Remove the stigma of asking for help. Some of the best cops I know have suffered from burnout or depression and have regained balance to go on to a healthier life and career.

Exposing the Sacred Cow - Part II

2006-07-13T16:42:00.000-06:00

The legend of "cow tipping" is just that, an urban myth that suggests that some people engage in tipping cows over while they are sleeping which renders them unable to get up. It has been the subject matter of sitcoms, cartoons, and parody. While this may be legend, perhaps the imagery could be used to suggest that some cows just need to be tipped.

The emotions and understanding that come from the culture of policing are very complex. We come to understand the word pride as a good thing. Pride in the uniform and pride in the profession are oft heard statements of truth within the police culture. But it is this pride that becomes a double edge sword when it does not have an objective standard of goodness to compare it with. There are many things that I was personally involved in during my career in the RCMP that I am "proud" of. And there are many things that I am not proud of. There are many things that the profession could be proud of, and many that they certainly should not be.

In my view a more realistic view of the profession is a much healthier and balanced view. There is goodness and successes to be proud of and mistakes and tragedies to not be proud of. Both exist within any environment. An unrealistic and blind pride, in spite of the errors and fallibilities of the environment, places the protectors of the image into a defensive and combative position, or in a position where doing what is right becomes subservient to doing what looks good.

Make no mistake, I care deeply for the profession of policing and for the RCMP. I do so with my eyes wide open and my own wounds recovering. I do so with a realistic view of a noble profession comprised of people in all of their humanity, good, bad and ugly.

I unabashedly attempt to come from a Christian worldview, long ago lost, and by God's grace re-discovered in my despair and brokenness of a shattered image of my profession and my own identity. I thank God that the sacred cow of my previous worship, the false idol of RCMP image, had been tipped ( along with all of my other idols like self and ego) and I have entered into a worldview that helps me make sense of life, love, relationships, and even the profession of policing.

I hope to help others reframe their own worldview to one that brings a journey of peace and courage, honesty and truth, understanding and wisdom and most importantly freedom. Freedom from fear, freedom from oppression, freedom from darkness and despair, and freedom from the worship of their own sacred cows.

I have exposed the sacred cow of policing, the next step for many is to choose to engage in the sport of tipping.

Exposing the Sacred Cow

2006-07-12T12:01:00.000-06:00

In an earlier post I made reference to the sacred cow of policing, which is, in my view, " the protection of image at all costs". I felt compelled to unpack that statement a little bit more as it is part and parcel of the healing process, individually and corporately. It is my intention for this blog to be about healing, and while it may sometimes be a bit more "warm and fuzzy, " at other times it may be a little more hard hitting. My motivation remains the same. I care.

Healing comes from the cultivation of goodness, or new growth, but often requires the removal of old mindsets and cultural beliefs, and this process can be painful to begin. Healing comes when truth is spoken within a motivating emotion of care and concern. I certainly don't claim to possess absolute truth, I do lay claim to committing my life to pursuing truth, and there lies the difference.

With that disclaimer... on to the sacred cow. Several years ago Paul Palango wrote two books on the politicization of the RCMP. His book The Last Guardians is an almost frightening, yet necessary, read as the average constable in Cranbrook B.C. ( or any other detachment across Canada ) , trying their best to do a very difficult job, has very little understanding as to what drives the purpose and corporate ethos of a very large machine.

One reason why many mounties would find it to be an objectionable read is that they may have attached their identities to their role, vocation, or false image of what it means to be a mountie. If the average police officer is not able to objectively evaluate criticism of their respective police force, and begin asking the tough questions of themselves and their organization, then the underlying worldview becomes one of institutionalization and corporate pride.

The RCMP Act itself bears witness to this premise as it makes it an offence for an RCMP officer to do anything which may criticize or "embarass" the force. This includes speaking, and/or exposing truth. Ironically when one exposes truth it is not their actions that causes embarassment. It is a shining of light on the actions/omissions/or policies that the police force should or may be rightfully embarrassed about. The correction of the actions or situation should be the focus of the organization's efforts but in most instances the bearer of critical truth becomes the object of the correcting mechanisms.

The ability to critically evaluate doing the right thing begins at the very top of the organization. The ability to admit ones mistakes begins at the top as well. Admitting a mistake however, can be perceived as weakness by some. How many memo's have I read ( or disciplinary and even judicial decisions) which read something along the lines of " this action undermines the public confidence in the ability of the (insert name of police force) to provide the service and protection they require."

This verbal rhetoric has been used in many cases to justify an autocratic and malicious handling of police officers who a) have either made an error in judgment or b) who have the courage to challenge the status quo and speak truth. What this statement is really saying is " we have to protect our image" and that is merely another way of worshiping the sacred cow, cloaked in the disguise of law and order.

What actions that may be deemed to undermine the public confidence then becomes a highly subjective and dangerous opinion, which begins at the top of the organization. If a leader has an opinion that an action needs to be remedied ( perhaps by an over reacting disciplinary process) , the question needs to be asked, what kind of accountability system is in place to ensure that the leader in question is acting with wisdom and objectivity?

How much more confidence in a policing organization would the public have if its leaders were able to be honest and forthright about their own and its own fallibilities.
To be able to admit that, as with any organization made of people, that mistakes will be made; rank does not automatically impart wisdom; autocratic decisions and structure, and command and control methods of management do not work; objective truth cannot be hidden; and mutual accountability, regardless of rank or service, is a spiritual truth that transcends the sacred cow and the actions or opinions of those willing to worship it.

What a refreshing and authentic method of providing a policing service. In this way, the media does not become the enemy, civilian oversight does not become the enemy, criticism and accountability does not become the enemy and a dissenting voice is one to be heard.

The question for hurting or confused, or even angry police officers ( whether they are angry with their organization or angry with me for writing this ) can be this " have you been worshipping the sacred cow?" and in a shameless theft from Dr. Phil...
" how's that working for you?"

For policing to heal, the idol of image and institution must be replaced by objective truth, goodness, and corporate humility. This is not a change of leadership gurus ( like Steven Covey) to read or follow, cliche policing ( " community based policing" - "intelligence lead policing") to adapt, or media strategies to develop. It is a corporate soul change that begins with the leaders of government and institutions at the top. This is a long road. But it is the only road worth travelling.

The Credit in Life

2006-07-11T15:15:00.000-06:00

A few years ago I found myself at a place of defeat. The battle to make a difference that I seemed to be engaged in had taken its toll and I resigned myself to mediocrity and status quo. One too many " who does he think he is" comments had penetrated deeply and I finally looked in the mirror one day and said " they're right, who do I think I am." So I began to go through the motions, recognizing that many police officers could go through a career relatively unscathed, not rocking the boat, believing that they can't make a difference and come out the other end with the handshake, the embossed badge and a decent pension. Keep your head down and wear beige was the mantra of some.

Then one day , an empathic friend who had also been in the trenches gave me a copy of the following Theodore Roosevelt quote. I gained strength and vigor from this quote. I got back into the arena. It also drove home to me the immense power of the written word and in the spirit of the movie Pay It Forward I had also passed this on to many friends who cared enough to make a difference and were paying the price. It is not the lazy man or woman who burns out, rather it is those with fire and passion that end up in the battle. This quote is for them. If you are reading this and cannot relate to " the man ( or woman ) in the arena" then you have a choice. Get in the arena, or criticize from the sidelines. In life there is no middle ground. For all those cops in the arena, my hat is off to you and my heart is thankful.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

The paradox of policing

2006-07-10T11:50:00.000-06:00

I was saddened to read the newspaper today. Come to think of it I am saddened every day to read the paper. The two primary articles on the front page of the Edmonton Journal featured cops and violence, in two very different, yet equally tragic set of circumstances.

The first article highlighted the very real danger that police officers face every day they don the uniform. Two mounties were shot and in serious condition in Saskatchewan. We don't at this point know why, or how, it happened. A manhunt is on for the shooter, an obviously very troubled man, who, by all descriptions would be very easy to revile. I was struck by the sympathy and support of his family who publicly reached out in sorrow to the RCMP victims, their families, and co-workers. Indeed, it would seem, that their own hearts must be breaking as they think of their son, on the run, hunted like an animal, scared, confused, hardened and full of hate. The question begs to be asked. As a five or ten year old boy, playing, laughing, learning, did anyone believe that this would be his destiny? What went awry? What circumstances in his own life caused him to become what he is today? So many questions. Questions most people don’t ask, or don’t care to ask, as we often thirst for justice, if not vengeance and believe that this will bring healing.

The next story involved allegations of assault by members of the Edmonton Police Service. “ New Charge of Police Brutality” the headline screamed, seeming to ride the wave of public discontent over situations of apparent excessive force during the Whyte Avenue celebrations of the Oilers Stanley Cup run.

A carjacker was taken down after a short police chase and an Edmonton Journal reporter observed several officers subduing the male, with he and other witnesses describing excessive kicking and punching, as they did so. The man then suffered what has been called “ a medical episode” and the police began to perform CPR on him. Edmonton Police Service Chief Mike Boyd has called in the Calgary police to investigate. As an added irony to the intertwining of these stories (and they do relate to one another) the EPS did not ask the RCMP to investigate this occurrence; their normal course of action in these situations, due to the manpower strain in the Spiritwood, Saskatchewan manhunt.

There is a tension in these two stories that is difficult to reconcile. Clearly in the first story there seems to be a cut and dried “ good guy/bad guy” situation. It is much easier to cheer, hope and pray for the RCMP members full recovery and then turn our sights on to the perpetrator of these acts, and perhaps get caught up ourselves into a cycle of hate that can tend to feed itself in group anger and confusion and sometimes dangerously spiral into a pack mentality that is certain to have negative consequences. Perhaps this was the dynamic at play in the second story.

In my own naivite and worldview it used to be quite a simple issue of lawful acts and unlawful acts, cops and criminals, us and them. My worldview, of course, has since been shattered and I have found it necessary in my quest for answers to come to understand the essence of the human condition.

Good and evil can no longer be delineated by a uniform, a judge’s robe, a pastor’s pulpit, or a journalists pen. Good and evil cuts through each and every one of us. With our internal desire for goodness comes our capacity and propensity for evil. This is the struggle of the human heart. It always has been and always will be.

The quest for redemption often comes in our times of trauma. Consequences of our own actions can be used as a wake up call. A call that tells us that something is seriously wrong inside and I need change, a soul change. Consequences often come from the physical actions of our anger and hatred. Our laws protect others from those actions, often resulting in penalties designed to deter and, hopefully, rehabilitate.

There will be consequences for the man who shot the police officers. There will be consequences for police heavy handedness.

Consequences are a good thing. I have gone through many myself, deservedly so. Thoughts and actions of vengeance and hate and malice towards another human being ( whether they be a police officer or a gunman ) are not desires for justice or natural consequence. They are, however, reminders for all of us of our own capacity to inflict pain and suffering on another human being, our own capacity for evil, whether that be in thought or deed. They are reminders of the dark side of our own humanity in desperate need of healing.

This is why I choose to support officers going through the pain and alienation of police disciplinary actions. Helping one face and come through the natural consequence of their own actions and behaviours brings hope and healing. Writing an officer off because they have messed up just continues the cycle of anger, frustration and bitterness… and has no redemptive quality to it, other than possibly protecting the sacred cow of policing; the protection of image at all costs. That is not justice, that is pride, and in the words of C.S. Lewis “ pride leads to every other vice.”

May justice prevail in these two stories, but more importantly, may mercy prevail all the more.

Saran Wrap

2006-07-08T14:15:00.000-06:00

Do you remember when your heart first began to harden? It was likely in your rookie year when cynicism began to creep in and the lines were drawn between "dirt bags" and "us". I have often thought about how I came from begin a decent and soft natured young man at twenty to a hardened and cynical cop at thirty five. Having lost my heart and soul for many years I pondered whether it was an immediate donning of the armour around my heart or whether it was more gradual.

I began to visualize this process as a protection of sorts. When we look at the power and impenetrability of saran wrap when it is layered over and over, this seemed to me like a helpful visual of what had taken place. While the saran wrap layers likely began much earlier in life, I suspect that the daily grind of policing caused a continual wrapping of the layers.

I remember doing my first "bar walk" in uniform and for the first time was very aggressively called an "f'ing pig". Twenty years old and pimple faced I stood.... not sure how to respond but knowing I should not back down. Why do I remember this twenty five years later? Obviously it had an effect on my heart. The wrapping began.

Through the years of confrontation on the streets, and confrontation within my policing "family" the layers built up. The first time I found a co-worker taking notes on me, due to some professional jealousy, I was crushed. Another layer of saran wrap and another incident seemingly designed to bring my trust level down and my hardness of heart up.

How many good cops will tell you that the biggest stressors in policing are the internal politics, backstabbing, gossip, and even career sabotage. When crisis hits, our leaders will speak of policing as a "family". I cringe whenever I read or hear of that descriptor. In reality if we are a family then we can certainly confess to our dysfunction can't we?

Thankfully, within that family, one finds other hearty souls who, while still flawed, have a goodness at their core. Kindred spirits if you will, who may laugh and cry, support and celebrate with you. How blessed I was to have many in my career. How blessed I am to have had some of them help me cut through the saran wrap to a restoration of goodness and hope. How about you? Have you considered how thick that saran wrap may be now? Do you desire to pierce through it so that you may love and care again?

The Road Less Travelled

2006-07-08T12:31:00.000-06:00

Welcome, fellow pilgrims, to a place where police officers may dare to journey on the road less travelled. I launch this blog with some trepidation as it is often very difficult, if not dangerous, to speak of issues long suppressed within the profession of policing.

I have walked a difficult journey of burn-out, depression, chaotic living, disillusionment, whistleblowing, malicious persecution and redemption. I have shed many tears and fought many battles. My passion for justice and truth has been honed through trial and suffering and, by God's grace, it has brought me to health and wholeness.

Through this journey I have a developed a passion to helping others navigate similar dark waters and thus the forming of this blog.

My story ( and we all have a story ) has been very public and I will share it in more depth in future posts. Many police officers know my story. The irony is that while many have cheered and supported, many others have maligned and criticized. Such is life when you choose the road less travelled.

My desire for this blog is that it will be a place of dialogue, support and hope, for hurting cops out there, and there is more hurt than many of us know. I have numerous friends in the profession. Many others have called me out of the blue for advice or support as they go through the sausage grinder that is the police disciplinary process. I have friends suffering from PTSD who have made mistakes and errors in judgment ( don't we all?), and yet are now discarded and villified by a system and ethos that is often heartless and cruel. My heart breaks for them and I choose to care.

This site is for them and the hundreds - if not thousands- of others out there who are, perhaps, overcommitted, overworked, frustrated, disillusioned and in desperate need of balance and insight.

One cop suicide is too many. One cop destroyed by addiction is too many. One family torn apart by the stressors of "the job" is too many. It's time for cops to care. It's time to take off the macho mask ( male and female ) and admit our frailties and vulnerabilities. It's time to stand up to bully bosses and deception, and it's time to recover the heart and soul of a noble and courageous profession. I am committed to doing my part in that process. Please pass this blog on to other police officers and their families. Please join me on this journey.