A dose of humor

While humor in policing can sometimes be very dark, it has and always will be a great stress relief for many officers. When I was a rookie we had cheat cards with the proper wording for an arrest and the reading of a suspects rights. I only wish that I had a cheat card with the following answers to the inevitable statements ( that seems to be an international phenomenon ) that a police officer hears when making an arrest.

No, I don't know who you are.
No, I don't care who you know.
Yes, you do pay my salary.
Yes, you can have my job.
No, I don't have anything better to do.
Yes, I arrest real criminals sometimes.
No, I'm not picking on you because you're _______.
No, I can't give you a break.
No, I don't know your friend.
Yes, you will be allowed to make a phone call.
Yes, you probably will never do it again.
No, we can't talk about it.
Yes, it does make me happy.
Yes, you will see me in court.

Taking oneself too seriously is hazardous to ones health!